This is a letter for my ex-best friend.

We were friends, best friends and then the relationship ended. Because you thought popularity was more important than friendship. But I still want to thank you. Thank you for showing me what true friendship is and what fake ones are. You pretended to be my best friend for so long and I kept believing the act.

To be honest, I don’t hate you. Usually someone would when their best friend goes behind their back, gossiping and bullying. But I don’t. You are nice, at times. You can also be a really cold hearted, mean, arrogant person. Last year I asked you to promise me to watch over one of my good friends. I trusted you again. I was being naive and I couldn’t believe myself. I should have known better.

All of those moments from 4th grade through 6th grade when I went through hell where were you?

No text, no call, no nothing. Sure you were young, but it can never hurt to ask friends or anyone for that matter how they are doing.

Everybody from the 6th grade year knew that my parents were getting divorced. You couldn’t care less. You just went to hang out with someone. you know who.

When I asked you once to come over, you had to bring ‘you know who’ because you really weren’t looking forward to it. If you’re not looking forward to it then don’t come. But don’t bring someone over just so you won’t get bored.

I have regretted every single moment I trusted you. Because of what you did, I came to my new school, frightened and I arrived as someone who didn’t know who they were, someone who had a big history, someone who broke friendships because she was an asshole. I am not your biggest fan as you can tell, but I think it’s time you heard the truth, now you may do whatever you want, but people have feelings.

Feelings that can be crushed, but can also be made. Popularity is something that was and is so important to you that you didn’t even care for your real friends anymore. I hope that you’re okay and that you’re good, because if you’re not, don’t come to me. Because when I was not and had to talk to a stranger for 4 years in therapy, I didn’t have anyone. At all.

Don’t bring up the excuse that you and I were young, not knowing what we were doing because that is complete bullshit and you know it.

Thank you for showing me the real you and not some pretended version of you.