Have you ever been proud of yourself for something? I have. Let me explain.
I am a photographer. I am so proud to finally say that and own it as someone who is still in high school. Truth be told, I haven't made any money from it, yet. But no photographer started out with making hundreds. I'm proud of the fact that I took the next step and am finally doing something that I love and that I get to share with everyone.
I am proud of myself for training twice a week and that I now have lost 3.6% body fat.
Everything is about self-esteem. Whether you have it or not, it's important. It shows how you see yourself. Not anyone else, you. I've been actively shooting photos for 6 months now and I've actively been training for one and my life is pretty good, not going to lie. But I haven't been able to sit down and write anything for a long time. I guess I've been stuck in this rut where I'm uncertain of what I should do next?
I think from time to time we all are. Stuck in this one place, unsatisfied with everything we do, wanting to hear compliments and receiving them, but not being content with them. We have this urge to feel good about ourselves and we like to hear compliments and we like to have people in our lives that give us value.
They give us our self-esteem. They give us happiness, love, gratitude, but they also can give us anger, sadness and depression, which are all things we wished we had never experienced.
A day goes by and I'm in bed and I wonder:
"How was today?"
"How can I improve tomorrow to make it better?"
These questions that we ask ourselves are probably one of the most important ones. It's like reflecting. You know, how in high school or college or anywhere for that matter, you reflect on things? Mistakes, failures, successes, all that is applied here, but it's about your life. Somehow we find it important to have people in our lives that tell us all the good things we do and we prefer to never hear the bad things. Once in a while hearing the bad things, the critiques and just receiving feedback can actually help us get to where we want to be. We all want to be successful, we all want a good life and so receiving things you didn't want to receive might actually be a good thing.
I've been charging my phone at my desk and somehow I feel empty. Unable to check my phone while I'm in bed and unable to be 'connected' to the world, but it has improved my sleeping habits by 150%. It feels good to be disconnected from everything and everyone, just these 8-9 hours where you're meant to be sleeping. I have spent many many nights on my phone watching some Youtube video and scrolling through everybody's perfect Instagram and when I look at some people I feel jealous.
Why do they get the perfect car, the perfect boyfriend/girlfriend, the perfect body, the perfect skin, the perfect life?
Instead of being jealous I feel okay. I have this idea in my head that if I work twice, three, 4 times as hard as all of those people, I might end up being even more famous or making even more money than they ever did. Now, this is not a competition and it's definitely not about how much money you make. We're not here to win a game and laugh at people that haven't succeeded yet, because one day, we might end up like those people and they might end up like the successful people they worked for. I've thought about something Nina Dobrev said in a podcast. If you've never heard of Nina Dobrev, look her up. She is mostly known for her role in Vampire Diaries, which I'm not ashamed to say, I've watched.
"Be nice to all the people on your way up, because you'll be seeing them on your way down"
And with that, I'm going to leave you and let you think. Think about your life, reflect and ask yourself the two questions I ask myself every single night.