Body Image
I’ve always hated my body. I would look in the mirror and think: How could anyone possibly love this? Those thoughts reinforced by social media and my environment. The idea that you should spend hours working out to create the ‘perfect’ body, which really, is a skewed perception because ‘perfect’ differs from person to person. So let’s stop using words like ‘perfect’ because in the end, everything is flawed, and flaws are what makes us unique in our own ways.
“I can’t change what I’m given.”
Recently, I did a photoshoot and I invested in myself for the first time in my life. I had grown to believe that I was not pretty enough to get my picture taken. This scar etched onto my heart, a constant reminder of that fact. But with 2023 here, I thought: Screw it. I was done chasing and wishing that I was different because those demons have had their time. It goes without saying that leading up to that moment, it was hard. I still avoid mirrors as much as I can, I still see the same images on social media, I still look at others with the thoughts of wishing I had their body. But I can’t change what I’m given.
I’ll be honest, getting my picture taken professionally was one of the scariest things I’ve done, and I’m a photographer myself which one would think makes the process easier because you know what’s coming. There’s a different kind of vulnerability to stand in front of a camera, and see a reflection of yourself afterwards. A moment in time that is now captured forever. And part of me started to believe that, yes, I deserve to be here too. I will always be grateful to my friends and family who have loved me unconditionally so my mind would suppress the thoughts. If you find yourself in a place where negativity has the upper hand when it comes to looks, run. You are not defined by your scars, you are shaped by them. And they are gorgeous.
“A sense of belief stills in me that I’ll get to a place one day, feeling happier and booming with optimism.”
Dating apps, where the decision between swiping left and right is based off your looks, boosts this picture-perfect society we live in. It’s painful because you are taught to judge someone’s character through images which spirals into everyday life where you could decide you don’t like someone purely based off how they present themselves. I have been guilty of doing this, over and over. I would love nothing more than to change the narrative, but it’ll take some time to get there. Though I envy this self-confidence that certain individuals possess, I don’t mind I struggle more. It only lets me to be more appreciative and get to a point where I could look in the mirror without picking a flaw that’s not even there. A sense of belief stills in me that I’ll get to a place one day, feeling happier and booming with optimism. What I probably find most ironic is that we always tell others they’re beautiful, but we never allow for those words to be said about ourselves, and even when we do, we hardly believe it. So, here’s my hope for you:
I hope that whoever and wherever you are, you’ll love yourself more deeply. That the scars, visible or not, serve as a reminder of all that you survived. And that through every dark day, there’ll be light at the end.
